The Stockdale Paradox was taught to us when we were doing the Good to Great research, we were trying to make sense of the CEOs, and in doing that, I just by chance happened to get to know Admiral Jim Stockdale, who was the highest ranking military officer in the Hanoi Hilton, shot down in 1967, and was there till 1974.
They could pull him out at any time and torture him, and they did. He was tortured over 20 times. I had the privilege to get to know Admiral Stockdale, and we were going to The Faculty Club one day and I had read his book In Love and War, which was written in alternating chapters by himself and his wife about their years when he was in the camp.
I got depressed reading the book because it seemed so bleak, it seemed so difficult. It seemed, you know, like we can all endure anything if we know it’s going to come to an end and we know when. But what if you don’t know if it’s ever going to come to an end? And you certainly don’t know when.
So I asked Admiral Stockdale how he dealt with that. He said, “You have to realize I never got depressed because I never ever wavered in my faith that not only I would get out, but I would turn being in the camp into the defining event of my life—that in retrospect I would not trade.”
Later when we were up the hill, I asked him, “I said, Admiral Stockdale, who didn’t make it out as strong as you?” And he said, “Easy, it was the optimists.”
I said, “The optimists? You sounded optimistic.” He said, “No, I was not optimistic. I never wavered in my faith that I would prevail in the end, but I was not optimistic.”
I said, “What’s the difference?”
“Oh, the optimists always thought we’d be out by Christmas. Of course, Christmas would come and it would go, and then we were going to be out by Easter and Thanksgiving, and then Christmas would come again, and they died of a broken heart.”
That’s when Admiral Stockdale grabbed me by the shoulders and said, “This is what I learned: when you’re facing, when you’re imprisoned by great calamity, by great difficulty, by great uncertainty, you have to, on the one hand, never confuse the need for unwavering faith that you will find a way to prevail in the end with, on the other hand, the discipline to confront the most brutal facts we actually face.”
“And we’re not getting out of here by Christmas.”