When it comes to mental health, there are no shortcuts. You can’t skip past your own struggles and try to help others with theirs in the hopes that it will make you feel less bad. When I first arrived at Boulder Crest I met a PATHH Guide who stopped me from taking the ultimate “spiritual bypass” shortcut – which was thinking that I could help other people in order to help myself. This shortcut will never work because we cannot help other people be well unless we are well ourselves. Hurt people will hurt people, and at Boulder Crest we cannot allow ourselves to feed the cycle that exists within current mental health institutions. Unless the people within those institutions are well, they cannot help others achieve well-being. This is a common theme you’ll see us quote often on our website, in our printed media, and across our social media platforms:
To police well, you have to be well.
To lead well, you have to lead yourself first.
You can’t pour from an empty cup.
Hurt people, hurt people.
All of these phrases are used often and mean the same thing. You cannot successfully serve anyone if you ignore yourself. You cannot lead anyone to a place you have never been. In the years I’ve spent working alongside veterans I’ve watched countless men and women come through our programs and learn how to take the hard path – the one with no shortcuts – that leads them to the best version of themselves. I’ve seen service members- trained to put themselves last – finally learn the benefit of taking care of themselves first. They get well and turn around to help the next guy up – this time knowing full well where they are going because they’ve been there. They can speak from experience. They did the hard work and they know every stone and root along the path that they’re now able to lead others down.
As you may have realized, the 10 Truths About Struggle is my ode to veterans. When I struggled the most, the cavalry came, literally. Green berets, airborne rangers, marines, soldiers, sailors, and EOD techs came, and they rescued me from the darkness. Moving forward, my life’s mission is to train these men and women to go out into the world and use their strength, their courage, and their understanding of what a real life looks like – what a MEANINGFUL life looks like – and to help, save, assist, support, and train other human beings.
Be Well. Do Well. Struggle Well.
