In this PTGW video Coach shares his thoughts on navigating the red and green sine waves and why the capacity to choose your response to situations affects your ability to recognize new possibilities.
Transcripts:
What’s up, team? Coach here, and I want to talk to you about new possibilities and how regulation impacts our ability not just to experience new possibilities but cultivate them in our lives. Think back to the reality that there are two ways of living. We can live in the unhealthy sine wave—that red sine wave, the erratic heartbeat of life. It’s up and down and up and down, and the only hope that we have is to get back to the middle. It’s filled with bad influencers and unhealthy habits on both sides of it. This way of being, if you remember, means we’re stuck in reaction mode—that we’re running at ten tenths, and everything we do is a reaction, no matter what the situation might be.
The other way of being is living in that healthy sine wave—the green sine wave—where it’s full of ups and downs because life is going to be full of ups and downs, but it’s inside the guardrails of life. And those guardrails are a support network and mentors on one side—that’s three to five—and wellness practices on the other. Living this life gives us the capacity to choose our response. It leaves us not being relegated to a reaction. It doesn’t diminish our ability to react if necessary, but it increases our capacity to choose our response in any situation. And regulation is the key to living in the green.
So how does this work when it comes to new possibilities? One: wellness practices. I have to lean into wellness practices that create calm, that create clarity, that create congruence and capacity to choose in my life. I have to do things on a regular basis to maintain the wellness triangle in my life, because if that’s strong, I have the space to make thoughtful decisions, make intentional decisions, and be consistent with how I navigate my days.
The other piece is people—those three to five people that you spend the most time with, the three to five people that hold you accountable, that encourage you, that challenge you, whether it’s to step into a new chapter or evaluate life. Mentors and role models that show you what’s possible in life—not necessarily give you the answers, but to show you what’s possible because of their own journey.
So I want you to reflect on two things as we think about the impact regulation plays on new possibilities. What are unhealthy habits that prevent you from experiencing or cultivating new possibilities? Where are you investing your time and energy instead of on your goal? When we set goals and we have these regulation practices and people in our lives, we have the opportunity to go, “I don’t think I want to do this anymore,” and so I give my energy and effort to something else. So where are you putting your energy and effort on a daily basis?
And then, what people keep you stuck in that negative spiral? Who are the influencers that you may have in your life that keep you second-guessing, keep you stuck in that sneaky little hate spiral of life, keep you unsure, make you feel not good enough?
The other side of this coin is: what wellness practices and what people help you not only capitalize on new possibilities but create new possibilities in your own life? What wellness practices work for you on a daily basis that allow you to see the opportunity in struggle—the opportunity in front of you, these new possibilities? And who’s supporting you? Who’s cheering you on? Who’s holding you accountable to those commitments and goals?
As you reflect on those things, I want you to answer three questions. What wellness practices do you use that enables you to spot and seize new possibilities? Number two: Who in your life enables you to spot and seize new possibilities—who is the person that wakes you up to what’s right in front of you? And then three: What unhealthy habits, what bad influencers do you have in your life that limit and inhibit your ability to spot and seize new possibilities?
Once you have those answers, then you’ll know where you need to put the effort in, where you may need to make changes in your daily life.
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